Costco is My Disneyland!
I know what you’re thinking..wow, Mary, you need to get out more often! But allow me to explain before you judge!
Let me set the scene. Bud and I have the afternoon off. We realize that we need some more almond butter and chicken is on the menu for dinner, so off to Costco we go.
Not long after we arrive, we realize it’s getting close to lunchtime and we’re a bit hungry. But wait! What do we see in the distance? A sweet older lady with cheese (or in some cases, a grouchy older lady who would rather be playing bingo). As we approach her, we realize she has not one, not two but FOUR different samples today. (I know you’re still judging me, but hang in there). Cheese, glorious cheese! Beautiful chunks of aged cheddar cheese from some mountaintop of the Himalayas (ok it’s Wisconsin but you get the drift), and three different types of goat cheese. We grab a sample or two of each and load up on what my granddaughters call “bougie cheese” (that’s the real cheddar one) and a fig and honey goat cheese log.
As we head to the nut section for Bud’s almond butter, we see a new display of beautiful outdoor furniture. You know the kind that you always dream about having? A table with six chairs, a sun umbrella and an insert that turns into a fire pit for nighttime marshmallow roasting. Can you tell that I’m hungry as I’m writing this post?? So we stop and dream about what we would do with it, the get togethers we would have. OH the fun!
We move on and find a new sampling table. This time it’s some kind of fancy chocolate bar. Yes, thank you and I’ll grab an extra one for later. We get our almond butter and make our way to the meat department but first we have to stop at the cheese samples again, pretending that we hadn’t gotten one yet. “Oh wow, Bud, did you see the cheese?” as the nice lady rolls her eyes and hands us another sample.
Before we get to our destination, we see the 14 pound box of mangoes for $3.99. That goes into the buggy. Yes, we always grab a buggy after multiple past trips into Costco for one item only to juggle the dozen items we end up with in our arms. And look! Fresh rotisserie chickens are coming out of the oven. No need to buy chicken for dinner. It’s already made for us. I pretend that I’m so disappointed that I don’t get to cook my famous roasted chicken for him but the smile plastered across my face is a dead give away. I pretend that I don’t see Bud waving at me from the giant teddy bear section. No, the girls wouldn’t want that bear. It will need it’s own car seat.
We have vowed to only buy what we needed so we try to head back towards the front to check out but alas, there are Egyptian cotton sheets on sale for under $30 so one of those gets thrown into the buggy next to the 42 boxes of floss I didn’t see Bud put in there. I decide not to give into the temptation to grab a new waffle iron or the 40 pound box of brown rice.
We wave to the friendly cable guy as we ignore his pleas to come talk to him. As I walked past him, I suggest that he visit the cheese lady. It will help his long day go by easier.
I see the finish line. The checkouts are straight ahead. We didn’t do too badly this time. But you see, Costco is brilliant. Where do they place the snacks, the chips, the chocolate covered caramels? No, not deep into the store by the dairy section. Right up front near the checkout lines. They know you’re hungry, despite the samples. They know that when the lines get long, they will extend DEEP into these well placed snack aisles, of which there are many so no one is immune. And here we go.
Bud thinks that those chocolate covered coconut bites rolled in almonds that have been grown in an organic garden is exactly what he needs as a small snack from time to time, aka handsful of them after dinner every single night. Then I pass the hand rolled, locally made nut bars with just a few ingredients because, well, there is no reason. I just want them. In my buggy. Right now.
So you see, we leave Costco with our bellies tamed from extreme hunger, we meet new friends who ply us with their cheese offerings, we now have time to go to a movie because dinner is already made and we don’t have to pay $42 for a chocolate bar at said movie because we now are the proud owners of boxes of them the size of a queen size bed and we’ve had great conversations about our future. All is well as we have our receipt stamped with a smiley face. That is until Bud sees the new car that Costco is showcasing. Now I’m really in trouble!
I dare say that Costco is even better than Disneyland! You can buy dinner, dessert, tires and even work on your communication skills! What more could you ask of a place?
