True Love

I recently asked some 2nd and 3rd grade kids a few questions about love. What is love? What do you love most about your family? Some of the answers were comical and some sweet but all of them described that the way they feel love is when someone, mostly their parents, spend time with them doing things together. This isn’t surprising because all of us define love not in terms of possessions, usually, but in experience and the way a person makes them feel. Safe, cherished, happy.

Since Valentine’s Day is this week, I wanted to write something profound that I’ve discovered about love in my 50+ years but, honestly, no matter what background, what age, what experiences, most of us have those same answers. Now honestly so many people may not have experienced that kind of unconditional love often but we know what it is.

So, for you, dear reader, what would you say love is to you? How would you describe it? If it’s romantic love, would your description include long walks on the beach, hikes in the mountain, rainy days at home, a great meal? If it’s the love of family and friends is it hearing that you are cherished for just who you are, loud game nights, dancing together or quiet nights having long talks about life? No matter how you would describe love in those areas, don’t forget to include how YOU will love those around you well. We can tend to be self-centered at time and can easily forget to reciprocate those feelings to others. When was the last time you told someone WHY you love them, WHY you’re proud of them.

The Bible talks about love over and over again because God is the author of love.  He is the One that gave us the ability to love and be loved because He first loved us. Many people have told me that they didn’t really know how to truly love those around them until they received God’s unconditional love. I think mostly that’s because He teaches us, by example, how to love sacrificially. In 1 Corinthians, we see a beautiful description of love and honestly, it’s a challenge to live up to them. I’d love for us to go over some of them together.

Love is patient; love is kind. It keeps no record of wrong. Oh boy, patience! That’s definitely not a word I’d use to describe me, in any shape or form. I get frustrated if I’m caught behind a slow walker or a line that is just not moving as fast as I’d like it. And when it comes to love, patience is just as hard a concept for me to grasp. Being patient in love means allowing the other person time to be understood or to understand what I need or want. Sometimes I want to just yell “Just tell me what you want!” but the truth is, whether it’s my husband, a friend or a colleague, they may not know yet or know how to verbalize it and I need to give them time to get there. That’s patience in love to me. 

Love is kind. So this one I think I have a good handle on most days because it seems so simple. But is it? Kindness takes on all sorts of connotations. Where I seem to falter is in showing the same kindness, simple acts of grace and sacrifice to my loved ones as I do total strangers. How can that possibly be? Because we know that our loved ones, well, love us already, and we don’t think it’s that big of a deal to say a pleasant “Good morning!” or “you look pretty today”. Yet we (ok I) do it all the time to people in the grocery store or the coffee shop. We have a tendency to take those things for granted that they’re needed and enjoyed by those closest to us.

Love keeps no record of wrong. Man, I’m out for the count with these three! The truth is when someone close hurts us it stings and stays much longer than when it comes from someone we hardly know or don’t know at all. That weird look I get when my outfit is a little out of the ordinary from a complete stranger isn’t going to cause me a lot of pain. Can I be honest, here? I rather enjoy it because I know that I’ve finally stopped dressing like everyone else to please everyone else. But if someone I love does that, I feel insecure and ready to march inside to change clothes. It’s not always easy to forgive because we feel that offense so deeply. But true love not only forgives the offense, GASP…it keeps no record of the offense. Meaning I can’t bring it up 2 months from now when maybe I’ve become the offender and I’m trying to defend myself.  When we don’t keep a record of wrong, we are free to truly love in a deeper way than we could ever think possible.

Love does not envy and it does not boast and is never proud. It does not dishonor others and isn’t self-seeking. Wow there’s so much in there but the overlying thing that comes to mind as I study these verses is selflessness. Putting others before yourself and Jesus modeled this time and time again and most significantly, on the cross.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. I don’t know about you but when I read through those I feel like the kind of love I give is so wanting in comparison to these truths. But then I’m reminded again and again that the only way that I can love as sacrificially as is charged to us as believers is by first accepting the unconditional love of the Father.

And my absolute favorite..love never fails. This truth of God’s love calms my heart in times of distress. His love will never fail me. I may fail, my faith may fail, others may fail me but HIS love never fails. May His love reach down deep into your hearts today and every day!