As I sat to start writing this post, my sister sent the family a video of my niece ministering to college students in India. She was leading worship with her classmates in front of hundreds of young students. It took my breath away, honestly. The tears started flowing freely and I was caught up in the joy of it all as if I were there.

Now my niece, Abby, is beautiful in so many ways but what touched my heart so deeply as I watched and listened to that video, what struck my heart so deeply, was the beauty of the moment. I was reminded of all the hard work that went into sending her on this trip, the sacrifices, the long nights, the fundraisers and the faith. I have watched her find her voice this year, not only just in worship but as a woman of God as well. Looking over the sea of beautiful faces as they listened to her, I wondered if they had any idea the courage it took for her to be there, so far away from family, sharing her gift of song. I prayed in that moment that they would feel the love of God as she feels it. That they would know the sacrifice Jesus made just for them and the love He has for them that He would send a group of young people across the world to be with them in that moment.

I wonder what beauty He saw in me that He would pursue me the way He did so many years ago, and still does. Have you ever felt beautiful, dear daughter? Really beautiful? Was it on a special night when you wore a dress that made you feel confident and bold? Or maybe a day when you accomplished a hard fought goal? Did you have someone you love tell you how special you are that made you feel beautiful and cherished? My love language is undeniably words of affirmation. Even after all I feel that I’ve accomplished in life, there is still a part of me that wonders all the time if I’m enough, if I’m beautiful. Like me, you may feel like you give sacrificially to all around you but even the slightest inkling that something is not quite right with you, sends you down a rabbit hole of self doubt. Am I enough? Am I cherished? Am I beautiful? Do I have worth? Do you SEE me?

Unfortunately, the wounds of the past can be a challenge as we walk this present journey. We have a choice whether we will allow the arrows to pierce us or stay lodged in our souls, hearts and minds. I was talking to a friend recently who shared that a single incident amongst trusted friends, opened up an old wound. It surprised her but she knew she had to allow God to heal it once and for all. What wounds do you carry, my beautiful friend that you need to allow your Father to heal? What is it that you want desperately to remove from your life so that you can be whole?

The question that always comes up when I speak to friends about my relationship with God is “Can He be trusted with my deepest wounds?” We’ve all had someone close to us use that knowledge against us. Why would God be any different? How do I know that He won’t use it against me? They are all great questions but to understand, and more importantly, believe the answer, you must understand the heart of God.

 Romans 5:8 is a verse I remind myself of often. It says, “But God demonstrated His own love for us in this way; while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” This removes all fear that if I mess up, if I fall, He will withdraw His love from me. So many of us understand conditional love. If you do this for me, I’ll do this for you. If you act this way or treat me this way, I’ll reciprocate. But God’s love is nothing like that. He didn’t say, “Get it all together, Mary, and then I’ll love you.” He didn’t require me to be holy before accepting me as His daughter. He simply says, come! Just as you are. With all your faults, with all your wounds. I am accepted by the Father because He first loved me. I am His beloved because He pursued me first. He says I am beautiful, I am bold, I am fearless and I am holy, not because of what I’ve accomplished but because of what He accomplished FOR me on the cross.

Most days my hair is in a ponytail, my face has only sunscreen on it and I’m in comfortable clothes. When I have an opportunity to wear a dress and a pair of earrings and makeup, I feel so pretty. But even then, if I look too hard in the mirror (or make the mistake of turning my hand mirror around and seeing the magnified side..I mean who thought up THAT tortuous device?!), I can still find so much fault.

But when I read my Word and get alone with my Father, His Holy Spirit sings songs over me, speaks to the deepest parts of my heart and reminds me that in His eyes, I’m the most beautiful girl in the world.

And so are you!

If you ever doubt that you’re loved, that you’re seen and that you’re enough, look to the One who created you and you’ll know the truth. In His eyes, you are breathtaking and worth far more than precious gems. You, my lovely friend, are truly beautiful!