As a believer, I have struggled with this question. Do I make my own plans and dreams or does God orchestrate them? It’s a good question, right? We are certainly not robots but when we think about God’s guidance in our lives, how much of it is me and how much of it is Him?

As I was studying this topic, I came across Ephesians 2:10 that says, “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.”

 And then Romans 8:28 says “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”

 As my understanding of this truth has grown over the years, I realized that it’s complicated and simple. God knows what we will do before we do it. He knows the plans He has for us. He knows the dreams He wants for us. His Word promises that we are His masterpiece and that through the sacrifice of Jesus, we are made new and in that new life, great and wonderful things await us; things He had planned from long ago.

 We can also understand that even though we will never be perfect in our ways, in our choices, actions and words, we are made perfect in Jesus. And even in those bad choices, He is able to work things together for His good for those who are called according to His purpose.

 I’ve heard so many times over the years that Christians are puppets; that Christianity is a crutch to help weak-minded people deal with reality.

 The way that I have resolved this in myself is using the term “Father” that the Bible uses to describe God. And it helps me see the contrast between my life here on earth and as a mother and a grandmother and my life as a daughter of the Heavenly Father.

For our son Danny, Bud and I knew that we wanted him to grow up knowing who he was in Christ; what gifts God had given him and we saw a strong calling on his life from an early age. How did I know that? His capacity for compassion even as a young boy; his ability to share his faith so easily; his strong love of God that followed him from a childlike faith through to adulthood. His prayers were passionate rivaled only by his worship and his love for the Word grew and strengthened through the years.

We had dreams for Danny. Dreams of ministry through music and teaching. I still have dreams locked in my heart for his life that I believe I will one day see.

But at any point, he can choose to walk away from this path and choose one of hurt and destruction. Bud and I could tell him repeatedly that he had a calling on his life and gifts and talents that God could use to bring so much good into the world but Danny had a choice whether to make those dreams his own. Would it have made us as his parents, love his less? Would it have changed God’s ability to bring good into this world through him? The answer to both questions is absolutely not!

That scripture in Ephesians 2 that I mentioned earlier says nothing about it being a demand. It states some pretty awesome things. We are His masterpiece; His workmanship. Those terms speak of a loving creator who took great care in us. It speaks of a loving Father who gave up His only Son so that we can also be made new and frees us from sin’s hold. That speaks of the passionate love of that same Father who could not and would not leave us in our sin with no hope. And the last of Ephesians 2:10 answers why God went to all of that trouble; all of that care. Why? Because He has planned mind-blowing, amazing things for us; things He has dreamed of for us from the beginning of time. But we would need Him by our side to accomplish them.

Nowhere in there do I see a Father who pushed, coerced or forced His will on His child any more than Bud and I did with our son. We wanted the absolute best for Danny because he was our masterpiece; the best of us. Why? Because we wanted his life to be filled with hope, peace, fulfillment, joy and purpose.

Honestly, these questions only served to bring me closer to God as I marveled at His dreams for me. And then while reading in my Jesus Calling devotions, I came across this. If you’ve never read a Jesus Calling devotion, I urge to get one as soon as possible! It is a devotion that reads as if Jesus is speaking to us directly. It’s incredibly beautiful and personal.

Listen to these words and hear Jesus speaking to you…

“True dependence is not simply asking Me to bless what you have decided to do. It is coming to me with an open mind and heart, inviting Me to plant My desires within you. I may infuse within you a dream that seems far beyond your reach. You know that within yourself you can’t achieve such a goal. This begins your journey of profound reliance and trust in Me. It is a faith walk taken one step at a time. This is not a path of continual success but of multiple failures. However, even failure is followed by a growth spurt, nourished by an increased reliance on Me.”

 I know for me in this grieving season, those words meant so much to my broken heart. I have said to the Father that He failed me because Bud and I left everything behind to follow Him and pursue full time ministry. We believed that this was part of the dream; part of the plan God had for us from the beginning of time. And then Bud passed. I have railed against Heaven and asked Him how could He have done this to me when I followed His leading? The last 2 ½ years have been a faith walk. One that has brought Bud and I closer to God in ways I never thought possible. Can I look back now and see that God was preparing me to finish my journey without Bud? Yes. And no. Did God’s plan fail? No. Did He get busy somewhere else and missed what was going to happen to Bud? No.

I can definitely see His hand over the last 6 months. I have rejoiced and praised Him as I have seen family members turn to Him and relationships healed because of losing Bud. I have heard testimony after testimony of how God used even Bud’s memorial to heal marriages and broken hearts.

So again, did I fail when Bud was called home? Did God fail me and Danny and our families when he called Bud home? No. Not at all.

So I changed the word “failure” in that devotion to “valley”. Do you know what I mean by a valley experience? Those dark times when you feel lost, broken and hurt? It’s the complete opposite of the mountaintop experience where the views are beautiful and the sense of accomplishment of getting to the top is exhilarating. But I’ve learned that nothing grows on the mountaintops. It’s usually pretty barren. But in the midst of those valleys, wildflowers grow; trees bear fruit; vegetation is thick with growth. Growth that feeds us. There are also sources of water in the valley. The kind that our thirsty souls need so desperately.

On our journey called life, we need to enjoy those mountaintop vistas but we should never dismiss the growth that comes from being in the valley.

So my tweaking of that devotion reads like this:

“This journey is a faith walk. One step at a time, learning to rely completely on Me, your Father. This will not be a path of continual mountaintop experiences but of multiple valley experiences. But even in the valleys, growth happens, nourished by a continual reliance on Me.”

Are you in the valley, dear reader? Look up to the One who created you and lean into your dependence on Him. Ask Him to show You that He is near because He is. Watch for those signs of growth. Watch also for His leading as you walk into those dreams He has planned for you. You can choose not to follow them but look at what you’d be missing!

I believe that God cares as much about our tiny steps of trust through our daily life as He does those dramatic leaps of faith. You may think..does He even notice? Oh yes, dear reader. Yes, He does! The One who is always right beside you sees everything! That is His promise to us. Remember, His dream for our life is so much greater than anything we could ever imagine. Why? Because you are His masterpiece!