In my last blog we talked about how to navigate those seasons when God just doesn’t make sense to us. The idea that we secretly believe that because God loves us and because we believe He is who He says He is, He should make our lives happy ones. And when that doesn’t happen, when that marriage falls apart, that job is lost, our health takes a turn for the worse, that child breaks our heart, we are left wondering if God even cares. Because if He did, he wouldn’t have let this happen.

So the first truth that I shared in Does God Care? was understanding the power of Jesus our Emmanuel. He is the One who came down to us to dwell within us, not just among us. He became 100% man even though He was still 100% God, so that He could know what it is to walk this life. So that He could be near.

Listen to what Hebrews 4:14-16 says:

So then, since we have a great High Priest who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we believe. This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.

Another translation says that we don’t have a High Priest who can’t empathize with our weaknesses. That verse should be written everywhere around your house, car and work because it opens a door of understanding into just what Jesus did for us. When we feel like shouting to the heavens “Don’t you see me down here struggling, hurting, scared and alone?” we can be assured that not only does He see us, He feels all those things and is right there with us. Why? Because He humbled Himself and came down to our level so that when we walk through the valley, He can then do what the next verse says. The writer of Hebrews goes on to give us the hope we need. Let us then come BOLDLY to the throne of our gracious God because it is there that we will receive mercy and grace through Jesus to help us when we need it most.

He doesn’t look at you with anger and disappointment because you questioned His love and care. He understands those weaknesses because He faced them all yet He did not sin. He knows that we will fall but because He has made a way back to God, we can come to Him and boldly ask for mercy and grace to walk through the dark path we find ourselves on. God is not afraid of your questions. He knows they’re going to come and He has made a way to be there with you.

Let me say it again. God is not afraid of your hard questions. In fact, it’s where He does His greatest work in our lives. If we can just be honest with Him about what we’re feeling, He can bring a healing. Because the fact is, He already knows what we’re feeling so trying to pretend that everything is alright in your life is a wasted opportunity for Him to draw you closer. God can’t bless what you don’t turn over to Him. He can’t heal what you don’t release to Him.

 The next truth is this. You are known intimately by God.

Well how do you know that, Mary? Just listen to a little bit of Psalm 139. David says to God, “You have searched me and know me. You know when I sit down and when I get up. You know my thoughts before I think them. You are familiar with all my ways and You have laid Your hand upon me. Where can I go from Your spirit; if I go up to the heavens or to the depths of the earth, You are there.” And my absolute favorite portion of this Psalm says “You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb; I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.”

Wow! The same God who knit my very bones together and made me into the unique person that I am, sent His Son to be just like me so I would have an advocate that understands and sympathizes with my weaknesses as a flawed human.

 Matthew Henry wrote this explanation of this Psalm; He made us therefore He knows us. I’ve heard my son say that to his daughters repeatedly when they say something about themselves. His response is “Girl, I know that about you because I made you! I know everything about you!”

Dear reader, don’t miss this truth. You, my beautiful friend, are known by God. Every part, every thought, every dream, every challenge, every hurt. He knows them all. And He wants to walk with you through each of life’s ups and downs; through the joy, the celebrations as well as the grief and pain. What can we say about a Savior like that?

And the last truth that I would like to share with you is this.

I hear so many believers make this statement as they stumble in confusion about where God is in their darkest hour.

God doesn’t give us more than we can handle.

But did God actually say that?

I think it’s very important for us to explore this because it could mean freedom for so many of us that believe that the Bible says this but are then blindsided by fear or pain and then can’t reconcile what is happening if this statement is true. We are sometimes left to feel one of two ways. Either “I must be doing something wrong if I’m overwhelmed and feeling scared because God wouldn’t give me more than I can handle” leading us to the false belief that God is angry with us and leaving us to figure out our problems on our own. Or “God must not see or care that I’m struggling and fearful.” Neither of these are true nor are they the way the God who came to live in us feels about us.

To be honest, in my darkest hours, the times when I felt alone and powerless against the onslaught of life, if someone had come alongside me at that point and tried to reassure me by saying, “God won’t give you more than you can handle,” I may have been tempted to smack them. Seriously.

Often we might say, “God won’t give you more than you can handle,” to someone who is dealing with a lot of adversity. Maybe one hardship piled on top of another. And what we mean when we say it is something like, “You’re strong. You’re tough. You are up to the challenge. You will get through this.”

And there is nothing wrong with wanting to be encouraging, wanting to give someone hope in tough times.  It’s natural to want to tell someone that “this won’t defeat you, this won’t overwhelm you. God is in control still and he loves you and wouldn’t allow you to be defeated by this.”

On the other hand, when we are down and out and feeling discouraged, hearing those words can cause us to feel like we are not measuring up. It causes us to ask, “If I am supposed to handle this, then why can’t I handle it?” 

So I studied and looked and dug and read and the truth is I can’t find anywhere in the Bible where it says that God won’t give us more than we can handle. It’s just not in there. What I did find were these verses that I believe this statement has come from. In 1 Corinthians 10: 13, we see Paul writing to the church at Corinth. And he says this to them.

 “No testing has overtaken you that is not common to everyone. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tested beyond your strength, but with the testing he will also provide the way out so that you may be able to endure it.”

Paul reminded the church in Corinth that all people are tempted and often choose to do the wrong thing. Paul’s warning is tied to the reality of temptation and sin that meets us everyday. But he also gave us hope in that verse. I believe this is the verse that is so often misquoted.

As far as temptation and sin go, Paul pointed out this truth. We always have a choice: engage in sin or run from it. The promise is that God will always provide a way for us to run from it.

So the truth is that in this verse, Paul was talking about temptation, not suffering.

With temptation, we have a choice, but with suffering we often don’t have a choice and this is a truth we need to embrace. Yes, sometimes the events that end with suffering and pain are self-inflicted but so many times, they are completely out of our control. Like we talked about in my last blog, that unforeseen job loss or illness or rejection, can blindside us.

We need to be alright with admitting that we can’t handle it. We can cry out as Jesus did in the garden before His arrest and death on the cross, “My soul is overwhelmed to the point of death.” And when we do this, we find that Jesus, knowing exactly how we feel, is right there with us.

When we become aware that life will give us more than we can handle and come to grips with this, we find a promise: God is faithful to meet us in the pain. And when He does, we learn to recognize our constant need to depend on Him.

There will be times in life when you will feel like you are drowning and there is no one to help you. We have to understand this because it comes to each of us in our own way.

The idea that God won’t give us more than we can handle, can tempt us to ignore our suffering and pretend it’s not there. It can lead us to believe the lie that we can do it ourselves; that we can handle it. Which raises the question, “If we can handle anything that comes our way, then why do we need God at all?”

We need to realize that sometimes we can’t make it on our own. The God who sent His Son to live in us, dwell in us, knew we would face those dark times and knew we would need His abiding presence in our lives. That’s why He came. So that when, not if, we face adversity, we could turn to the One who has been through it already and overcome it.

And there is another part to this that I believe is so important. As believers, we have a wonderful opportunity to sit with those who cry and mourn, hold those are hurting and broken and not feel the need to find the right words. The truth is, there aren’t any. At least not in the moment. We just need to be there in those times when life is unmanageable and be willing to walk alongside one another. When we do this, we put flesh and bone on the person of Jesus. We can be with one another in the midst of suffering, helping each other carry the weight.

When we are willing to sit in the pain, to walk with one another when life’s path is difficult and to shoulder one another’s burdens when they are too heavy, we become the hands and feet of Jesus. We become living proof that while life can sometimes be too much, through the goodness of our loving of God displayed within us, we can move forward together.

The most powerful truth I’d like to leave you with is this. God will never leave you or forsake you. He will never let you walk alone unless you choose to. He has sent His Son to live IN you, with you, around you. He feels what you feel, deeply. He wanted it that way. He chose it. He fights for you in every way possible. And where He has never promised that you will not face situations that you can’t handle, He has promised that you’d never do it on your own.

If you’re facing fear, rejection, pain, hurt or loneliness, Jesus is but a breath away, a prayer away. He is right there waiting for you to allow Him in closer than you can imagine possible. If He moved Heaven and earth to become a man just so He could know us intimately, why would He sit by and watch you suffer? It just doesn’t add up to me.

So our challenge as we face the next months, the next few weeks or even the next few hours is to stand on the confidence that God, Emmanuel, is with us and will continue to be with us as we travel through this journey we call life. When we can’t handle it, feel like it’s all too much, fear that we are losing our grip, know with full confidence that you can call out to the One who knit you together in your mother’s womb. He is near.