Have you ever had a longing? Something deep inside you yearns for something or someone. That’s a word you don’t hear much. Yearn. That word makes me think of a deep ache. An emptiness that needs to be filled. It’s so much more than a craving like we would have for a particular food. This conjures up the idea of a void that is painfully in need of whatever or whoever it is that is the only thing or person that can fill it.

I came across 1 Chronicles 16:11 early this morning. It was still dark out but something, or should I say Someone, was drawing me out of my sleep and into the next room where I felt His presence immediately. It has been a busy season in my life lately and more to come as we head into the holiday months. And as wonderful as it all has been, I sense a void, an emptiness. As we all do, I tried to fill it with lists and goals, time with friends and video calls with family. But I realize that what I’m longing for is actually a Who and not a what.

That scripture that I found this morning says “Seek the Lord and His strength; seek His face continually (longing to be in His presence).” Ah yes, that’s it. That’s what I’m feeling. A longing, a desire to be with the One that fills all my needs. My son has a term that he uses to describe those activities that make you feel alive and fulfilled. He says he needs to fill his bucket. I love that. It’s a visual of what we feel when we are stressed and running on empty and in need of those things that bring us joy and peace. For some it may be a hobby like surfing or crafts; for others it’s a quiet place to get lost in a book; for some it’s reconnecting with friends after a long season of busyness. What is for you, dear reader?

If you’ve read my blogs, you’ll know that being near the ocean, reading a book, having long talks with Bud, being alone with my thoughts as well as writing are my bucket fillers. But there are days, like today, that I realize those things aren’t what are missing; they’re not what I’m yearning for.

I long to be in the presence of the One who waits for me in the early morning hour; Who calls to me to spend time with Him; Who fills all my needs so that I can give out again from a deeply filled vessel. When we feel depleted and empty, we can find both rest and rejuvenation in His presence. In His presence is fullness of joy. God always seems to put my fears and concerns in perspective. Spending time with Him in prayer, in worship or just listening for His voice, reminds me that I was created for so much more than just this everyday life that I lead. The original language of the Bible has several meanings for the word “life”. One is “bios”, which means our everyday living kind of life; working, eating, sleeping. And the other is “zoe” which is a word that is used to describe that feeling of really being alive. The truth that we were made for so much more than just what gets us through the day. It’s dreaming those impossible dreams; planning how to accomplish those big, audacious dreams. I do that best in my time alone with God because He was the One who put those desires in my heart to begin with and the One who will walk me through the path to see them accomplished. I’ll talk more about that in my next blog but just know that God wants us to dream big, bold, impossible dreams!

Are you feeling depleted and empty as you read this? Has life been particularly hard lately? Are you feeling like “there’s just got to be more than this?” You’re absolutely right. There is and His name is Jesus. He wants more than anything to fill your emptiness with love, joy, peace, contentment and passion for the things He created you for. If you’ve never experienced what I’m describing than start today. Get alone with some worship music and your Bible and ask God to meet you in this place of longing. If neither of those is available to you, then just find a quiet place and invite Him to join you. Ask Him to meet you in this moment and just talk to Him like you would talk to a friend. Talk to Him about how you’re feeling and what is weighing you down emotionally. Share your dreams with Him and what you need to fill your bucket.

But do something that you may have never done before. When you’ve finished, get quiet and listen. Ask Him to speak to you. This may be so foreign to some of you but I promise that it will change your life and your walk with God. Think about it. If you were having a discussion with anyone else, wouldn’t you, at some point, stop talking and listen to what they have to say? Why should it be different with God? Um, well Mary, He doesn’t exactly speak audibly to me or to anyone else that I know! No, you’re right. That is a rare thing to have happen but I have heard His voice on so many occasions throughout my life. It may be in the words of a song that comes on while I’m listening for Him; in the words of a sermon; advice or encouragement from a trusted person. I’ve heard His voice in the wind blowing through the huge oak tree in my backyard or the crash of the ocean’s waves. Crazy? Not really. At different times in my life when I’ve felt like I was surrounded by chaos or the storm raging inside me left me feeling like I was losing my mind, I’ve sat out on my back porch and asked Him to speak to me. As I waited, a light breeze started to blow and I as watched the branches of that oak tree sway in the wind, I heard His voice. In that moment, peace overcame my weary soul and I knew that it was all going to be ok. I was going to make it through this difficult season. Or times when I’ve felt alone and unimportant that I took a walk on the beach and heard the mighty waves crashing on the shore. The smell of the salty air, the sound of birds and people all reminded me that I was a part of something bigger than myself, bigger than my insecurities and I knew that it was my Father speaking strength into my life. I could go on and on. Countless times that a verse would come to my mind and it would be exactly what I needed. But like any relationship, the more that you make it a priority, the more that you spend time with God, the easier it is to hear His voice. You’ll be able to hear it above all the noise of this life.

My prayer for you this morning that you will allow that longing you feel to be filled by the One who created you and put that desire in your heart in the first place.