I love to watch before and after shows. You know the kind. Transformations and make-overs. Someone goes on a show that takes a woman from being shy and awkward and brings out her strengths and showcases them. The result is always the same. The participant leaves feeling pampered and shocked that she could look this way. They always have a new air of confidence and a new strut in their step. It may have taken a team of beauty experts or fitness gurus to do it but the result is always stunning. But the truth is, that woman was always gorgeous. She just didn’t know it. I was just reading Cinderella to my almost 2 year old granddaughter. She has a large amount of books to choose from but for whatever reason, she chooses Cinderella over all the others. We all love a Cinderella story!

I know this feeling firsthand because after having my son, I was 50+ pounds overweight and carried it for many years. I had to find a new excuse because I couldn’t keep saying it was baby weight. “Wait, isn’t your son 12?” Heavy sigh. I hated exercise of any kind. I mean, I loathed it. But after reading and researching and realizing I was harming my body, I drew a line in the sand and asked God to give me the strength to make the changes necessary. Then I did something a little crazy. Like nuts! At the age of 38, I joined a bootcamp. That started at 5. AM. Yeah. When I say I asked God to give me strength, it went like this: “Father please don’t let me lose my breakfast on the trainer’s new Nikes!” 8 months later, the weight was gone, my confidence was back and I was a new woman.

I tell you this because I had to remind myself that what I needed, even in my physical body, stemmed from my strength in God. He was at the center of it all. Yes, I did the hard work but not without His help. Not without believing that this was what He wanted for me. He had already given me all that I needed to accomplish a goal that would benefit not only me, but the other people around me. From this journey, I taught my extended family how to eat and live healthfully and it gave me the courage to pursue my personal trainer certification a few years later. And that has afforded me the opportunity to bring hope and life and confidence to women I was fortunate enough to work with.

We need to surround ourselves with people who will encourage us to not only dream big but also will stand beside you through the process. I was blessed to have those kinds of people around me. They never let me give up even when it got hard. Really hard.

Let me be that person for you, girl! You’re not alone on this journey. People can be cruel even when they don’t mean to, especially family but in the end, their true desire is to help. We all take compliments and criticisms differently. Are you one of those girls who hate to take a compliment but secretly loves them? Me too. I’ve tried so hard to change this. Just say “thank you” and let it sink into your soul. For me, I always thought the person giving the compliment felt obligated to offer one. Why do we do that to ourselves?

Several years ago I felt an urging from the heart of the Father to address every woman I knew with “Hey beautiful!” Or if I didn’t know them, I’d find a way to compliment them. The most recent was complimenting a young lady in line with me at a restaurant on her outfit. I thought she was going to cry. It’s so moving to see the impact this makes and it’s such a simple gesture.

As believers, the greatest transformation happened the day we said YES to Jesus. We are a new creature in Him; a brand new creation; His masterpiece. He adores you in ways you can’t imagine. Allow Jesus to speak words of affirmation into your life today. Where can you find such words? Just open your Bible. It’s full of love letters to you and to me. Listen for Him saying “Hey beautiful! What will we do together today?” If you’ve never read the Jesus Calling devotionals, let me tell you. They will revive your walk with God. Its a devotional whose words are spoken from Jesus to you. It is so personal, so intimate and so refreshing.

I was talking to a friend recently about my years of struggling with low self esteem. She’s a new friend so it was interesting to see her surprise as I spoke about always wishing I was, well, more. Her words have stayed with, weeks later. She said, “Mary, I would never have thought that of you. You seem so confident and assured of what you want and who you are.” Hmmm. Could it be that all that I’ve been striving for, praying and believing for, had actually happened and I missed it?! Could it be that all that life has brought me through the last few years as well as stepping out into the deep unknown of a new city, a new church, new friends and a new endeavor, has given me a stillness that my soul longed for? I believe it has!

I’ve been through several transformations over the years but I think I like how this one is looking on me. Friend, if you feel like you’ve lost yourself somehow, somewhere along the line, start making a way to discover yourself. Oh I know that’s easier said then done. But it starts with small steps.

Start a list of what moves you, what you’re passionate about, what brings you joy and fulfillment. The truth is, that list changes as we go through different seasons of our lives. There was a time when my whole life revolved around raising my son. Every free moment was spent praying over him, reading about how to be a better parent, talking to other moms about how to navigate his ups and downs. Then it changed over the years to being the best entrepreneur that I could be. My late 30s was spent changing my lifestyle and learning healthy living and eating followed by pursuing my personal training certification. You could always tell what I was into by what I was reading! So don’t be surprised that what you wanted 10 years ago has changed or evolved into something new and different.

You are worth taking the time to do these things. It will make you a better woman, a better wife and mom, and a better friend. It will make you a better you!